Hi, I’m Ian. I write essays and comedy.
I also have an extremely occasional newsletter, Semantic Chicken. Like an active volcano, it generally lies dormant.
Work
“Nursery Themes That Reflect The Reality of First-Time Parenthood” (The New Yorker)
A Guide to Saving Someone from Choking, Written by an Expert Blogger (The New Yorker)
I Offered My Father-in-Law a Day to Bond. He Picked the Oddest Activity. (Slate)
The Quiet Betrayal of Sleep Tracking (Slate)
We Couldn’t Decide on Our Baby’s Last Name. Then I Had a Crazy Idea (Slate)
My 24 Hours on an Aaron Rodgers-Style Retreat in the Wilderness. (Slate)
Mosquitoes Review Me (Points In Case)
Guidelines for Today’s Montessori League Track Meet (Slackjaw)
Quiz: God, or the Internet? (Slackjaw)
Baby, or Carne Asada Super Burrito? (Slackjaw)
A Real Spider’s Design Critique of the Fake Spider Web I Put Up for Halloween (Points In Case)
I’m on the Path to Enlightenment, So Don’t You Dare Take That Parking Space! (Points In Case)
New York Times’ Hookup Announcements (McSweeney’s)
Ian Bardenstein 